recession

We'd been waiting so long for the official announcement of the start of the recession that tension had built to unbearable levels. I actually jumped the gun a little with last week's shopping. I left out the €4.99-a-litre fruit juices, and bought Marietta biscuits instead of Mikados.

By Tuesday, when the ESRI published their report, any residual guilt I'd been feeling about denying the family organic mangos and raspberries had disappeared. We're in a recession, so it's water at the dinner table from now on. Day five of the recession and everyone is happy with the new arrangements. No wonder they don't call them depressions anymore.

Indeed, so far, perhaps due to the relief that the pretence is finally over, everyone in Ireland seems quite cheerful about “the recession”. Well, apart from auctioneers, builders, bankers, stockbrokers and car salesmen. Lads, everything will be fine. So you can't make the repayment on the €120,000 Range Rover? It's not the end of the world. Just the end of you peering over the top of your steering wheel at the rest of us who never made it beyond a hatchback.